Okay, so the Day 4 gloomies happened at the farm with the Tiny House where I pilot-tested Round America with a Duck and it happened again yesterday. It was Day 5 since I left my home; Day 4 on this first farm of the trip. So, note to self, maybe it’s a thing. The sudden flood of ennui. The self-doubt. The what the hell am I doing feeling.
The day had been great. I spread wheelbarrows full of goat manure and bales of hay over the large garden plot we had weeded the day before. We planted it all with seeds. I watered. I helped gather the goats back in their pen (almost all the animals wander around most of the day). I ate good food. I enjoyed Lish’s company. The children are sweet. The animals precious. But then it hit me. That uncomfortable, unsettled feeling that comes sometimes.
I instinctively knew I needed my daily bike ride, however short it is while I’m here. Even a mile up and down the gravel road helps, although this time I veered on to the winding country road for just a bit. I made a date to talk with my friend Judy the next morning (today). I had stayed with her and her family on Day 1 and I know talking with her is always helpful. I called my dad and step mom. I made TikToks. I later joined the family weekly Zoom, as we’ve been doing every Friday night during the pandemic. It all helped.
This has been hard, living somewhere new. And yet, wonderful. Life-affirming. Thought-provoking. All the things I was hoping it would be.
Perhaps the Day 4 gloomies are just that. A feeling that I’ll get at each new farm. A temporary pause where I can reflect back on what I’ve accomplished and what I’m aiming to do in this increasingly bat-shit crazy world.
And now, rooster crowing, sun soon rising, it’s a whole new day.
Round America with a Duck 